Two years ago I woke up in the ICU. Things would never be the same.
Head throbbing, my family and husband at my bedside, surely, I must be dreaming.
It wasn’t a dream.
I knew it was bad. My friends were traveling hours to come see me. My family didn’t want to leave my bedside.
I couldn’t comprehend what was going on and the doctor is discharging me after rambling off “hemorrhage, bleeding between skull and brain, two skull fractions…” what is he saying?
How did this happen? I was about to fight over the remote with my husband at our hotel room WITHOUT kids.
Two long months of recovery. I couldn’t smell or taste. I had to be escorted to the bathroom. I couldn’t handle visual or audio stimulation. I couldn’t ease the intense pain at all. I found myself taking 4-6 scalding hot baths a day just to feel the stinging sensation to all my pores and hope that it would take my focus from the pain in the back of my head.
Things changed Feb. 9th 2020 forever.….BUT not for the worse.
Yes, I suffered a traumatic brain injury.
Yes, I missed being a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding.
Yes, I may never smell again.
Yes, I struggle with memory and other executive functioning skills.
Life goes on. I am ALIVE. I have a beautiful family that loves me and amazing friends.
Yes, the spring of 2020 was one of the worst.
Yes, I got to the darkest places that I hadn’t visited in over a decade since deployment.
BUT I looked myself in the mirror and knew I didn’t want to be in that place and ONLY I could change it.
I found the sweet taste of life again. I FOUND MYSELF.
Within a few months I started to write again and lay my heart down on the paper. A year later, my first book Calmed. Growth After Growth was published.
“A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.” Psalm 91.7
The story goes on because I GO ON STRONGER and far more grateful!!!